so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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