so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
