i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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