I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
