he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?