she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?