Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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