i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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