Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
