No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
