I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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