Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
