He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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