So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
