she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
