you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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