yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
