Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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