I hate all girls vehemently.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
