I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
