How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
