My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
