Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
