yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
4 words: hood of his car
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
