it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
