Pappa wants mamma naked
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
