Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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