is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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