doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
