I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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