They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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