I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
