Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
