do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
