I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
