Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
