Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
