So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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