he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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