if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
