I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
