Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
