Already got asked if we're dating
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
