Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kortobon hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

Fav 3 1689 1052
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

I could have mohawked her pubes.

Fav 59 1029 5054
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

Fav 44 1335 3674
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

Fav 10 4751 1405
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

Fav 11 1436 4150
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.

Fav 13 3723 1127
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

Fav 15 2634 1150
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

(1-504): View more from Louisiana

That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

Fav 1 1108 543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27

Fav 0 151 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT