i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Acid is not a monday night drug
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
