So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
