So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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