i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Randomize
