White coat. Heels.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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