ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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