Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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