and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
