So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
