Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
