just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
