I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
