Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
this is an emotional support booty call
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
