How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
