I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
